crabby, but i still promise to try and not stuff myself

hi cutes, thanks for your sweet words...i am crying now even tho i am about to leave on what is suppose to be a romantic wkend...so stupid of me i know, but i am having a pity party for the moment, of woe is me i am too fat to go to a fancy spa hotel in Carmel and i can't wear any sexy clothes, and nothing works anyway...etc etc, all of this stupidity cuz i was down 1.8 at the mtg...which i know i should graciously smile and be delighted about, but FUCK...i worked my ass off this week, 4x to the gym, went to a mtg in NY, journal ed ALL my freakin food, could hardly walk as i worked out so hard, didn't drink much, and WHAT pray tell was my reward...fucking 2 lbs for 14 days of majorly difficult changes...i really thought after the .2 last week that i would see 3 0r 4 down this week...i know the scale is not a god and it is feedback not failure, but what the hell am i doing wrong? or do i just need more patience? i want to go to Carmel and enjoy myself and take care of myself and to feel a little bit cute...wish me luck, i either keep trying or go back, which is just not an option for me anymore. love you, keep up the good work over the weekend and i will talk to you Monday unless i find a computer to jump on for a sec this weekend