write before you bite

Sorry; i have been in a funk lately; maybe just confused and scared to move again. kindof dosing through my days. and spending too much time with katie. but i did have a nice pizza party with steph yesterday. and i write b4 i bite. so i knew 2 pieces and 1 beer was it. it worked well.
I am sure you will do well in MN and your plan is good. eat 1/2 of what you love.

my goal is to write all down and eat only things i really like. i will write more but i have only 10 minutes until the bells ring and wind blows me off my 30 minute seat. have a safe trip. call me. i am with you in MN. i wish. love twiggy.

where r u?

happy Monday...I did ok over the weekend. Well actually I did awful on Sat. and ok on Sun. I wanted to go to the gym this morn, but my back was sort or sore last night, so I am concerned about that...but don't want to schwew off track with MN coming up. I must be feeling some stress about going back as that is usually when my back acts up...I am also really worried about T, he finally went to the doc, but his uric acid levels were not that high so they took xrays and ran other blood tests etc...will let you know what we find out.

Hope all is well with you! We signed up for a new 17 week session at work today and I got free etools with it...so I can look up lots of great recipe's and point values! Hope you are doing great and had a good meeting today! Let me know how things are going? What is your goal for the coming week? Mine is to eat only 1/2 portions of all my fave dishes/places in MN and to find a mtg to go to in MN.
luvmops

not happy with myself

Surprise, me again...thanks for your words of encouragement. Even though I had no excuse yesterday and was feeling ok I still overate. I brought a bag of BAKED crisps to work with me that only have 3 pts per serving and I thought I will leave them at work to have one serving per lunch with my spinach bread sandwich...then I was here all alone yesterday and sort of bored, trying to keep busy and pass the day and the next thing I knew I had ate the entire bag of chips - 12 pts worth. So I say, mops, you only have 8 points now for your eve so you have to plan for when you get home tonight. So what do I do, I go home and dish up a big serving of more cheese, crackers and hummus...followed by a large dinner and a bit of chocolate. To make matters worse I get on the scale at the gym this morn to try and get a preview of tmro's meeting(I know I shouldn't have), and see that I am up slightly to last Sat. Stupid stupid stupid...ok, time to buck up. One thing that has worked in the past is to write the points down just before I eat it...so this next week I am going to write it down before I open my mouth and maybe it will give me pause long enough to rethink my chioces. Man, this is hard...I watch the bid emotions and then the little ones liek boredom sneak up and bite me in the ass. Well I am just going to shrink that ass so they have less of me to find to bite! Good luck this weekend, may the force be with you too twig jedi...wish me luck at my meeting tmro morn.
luvmops

how intriguing

Hi lovely sister of thought and wisdom; i enjoyed so reading your comments as well as understanding. your emotions i think were like overstimulated nerves during the days larger than life. now as you are becoming smaller new opportunities to feel, to redefine yourself, your reactions are enriching your life. i like that you are noticing this. food, whether cheese and crackers or huge amounts of anything in my way affects who we are. i think it is scary but also interesting to see who we become. it certainly is more than losing #'s on a mechanical machine.
it really helps me to read and discuss how you are feeling so that i can also look at how i am in regards to this long journey. in some strange way maybe we needed to become big to find ourselves. i do feel more aware of my moods . i do know wine does not mix well with increased emotional times. i always think it calms me but it moreso fucks with my choices. i couldn't think of any better description as i know i ought be charting. anyway, you made great choices. and with all the choices you continue to make, a new picture emerges. the gym will be there tomorrow and tim is lovely. we all can tweek ourselves a bit and maintain our integrity. so have a nice day and may the weight watcher force be with you mops skywalker. love twiggy.

waiting on the 100's

Hey sweets,

It is a new day. T and I talked last night and he said: "I love you… A whole bunch…remember my proposal-- beyond the stars to infinity. And don’t ask me to apologize for being me. " I guess we are all so different, it is sometimes so difficult to relate or understand...this may sound crazy, but maybe the emotion/eating/mind connection encompasses more than I ever thought...b/c I feel my mind open more as my body shrinks....it is like I am taking off the food covered lenses...ok, that proabbly sounds so weird, but when I have been in the really major over eating stages of my life I tend to react a certain way to things that happen to me, and eveything "happens to me" when I am in that frame of mind...when I am eating better and taking care of myself the thoughts shift toward, ok, here is a new situation...what are my options to navaigate it? Anyway, missed the gym this morn as we had a teary talk last night, but I am feeling better emotionally....I did have some cheese and crackers last night but skipped the wine as I knew I was in a bad state and wine and nerves don't mix...so overall I didn't do too bad...only a couple more days till my meeting and I am going to try and do the best I can.
luv you
mops

notice your emotions.

IF YOU EAT YOUR EMOTIONS THEY WILL BE GONE; BUT IF YOU FEEL THEM, EXPRESS THEM THEN THEY WON'T BE EATEN. EMOTIONS AND ALL THEIR COLORS ARE WHY WE ARE DOING THIS. IF I CAN HELP LET ME KNOW. OF COURSE WE ALWAYS HAVE FEELINGS SO MAYBE EAT CERTAIN FOODS ONLY THAT RELATE TO EACH FEELING. NO, THAT IS STUPID. OH WELL, I NEVER SAID I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING. WRITE LATER IF YOU HAVE TIME. I LOVE YOU.

how is it going???

Hi lovely sis; i laugh to here you i squeeze you up..... you are so cool. do you know that?? and i hope you can express to tim how much you love him and want to feel loved as well. i think you need to be held , cuddled, even if he is stoic. i believe it is so important to be given positive encouragement. how important is it to you to be cherished in the way you cherish tim. i guess i hate to say this but pete at times doted on me but i really don't think he knew how to love me. so, try hard to be aware of the ways you feel loved and accepted.

i don't think you are a smurf , but they are cute .

Now, don't eat crap food. and if you do, not too much. because then you will need to eat less crap food again . if that makes sense. i will give up wine; and you wait to after weighing in saturday to eat . or just work out like crazy first.

that is all i have for now. i love you.... throw wubbie in the air for me. and i will squeeze hozzy for you. after he has a coconut bath. love twiggy. (i wish)

my turn to deal with the waves

Hey babe,

First let me say how excited and happy I am for you regarding the house!!! CONGRATS!! I am sitting on the couch and a little anxious to see T tonight, and wanting to eat more even though I am not hungry. I am over in points for the day slightly and have used all my weekly flex points already and the extra ones earned from working out...more than ever I am seeing this weight issue as an emotional one...your help and kind words have meant a great deal to me and have helped me through some waves...I want to be ok with my feelings: good, bad, anxious or otherwise and deal with them without food. I am a little stronger today than yesterday and I know later my dear sis will be reading this and cheering me on. I love you...I squeeze you up!
luvmops

Swimming through the waves

my dear sis, you have always been such a good swimmer...and now I watch you cut through the waves and I am so proud of you. I was bobbing in the waves the last few days flaying my arms and yelling 'the waves are too big'! but then i saw you swimming through them and you called to me to stop wasting my energy flaying and to start moving through the waves...today my sea is calmer thanks to you on the phone last night...oh, and I did need to go into the kithchen to get my phone charger but I stomped the whole time, you were right, T came in to see what was up...too funny...i love you! Can't wait to see your little greenhouse.

luv mops

i am still around

Hi. i am still around. mostly trying to keep from crying and focus on work this weekend. looking at places to live without great success. and crying. did i say that already. kell offered me her place too and there is a night position at a hospital by her place. maybe montana must say goodbye to me; i to it. then mountains and big sky. i don't know that i want to. i shall keep trying . love mops.

I know you are sad

Dear sis,

First, I wanted you to know that I typed in my 2 messages yesterday right after we talked on the phone over lunch and before I spoke to you last night. In the afternoon you weren't so sad as you didn't know yet...so if my messages sounded too upbeat they were based on that time frame. Same with the song, did you check it out? You may want to do so when you have a moment where you are feeling some hope, as if you are too sad, you might think it's stupid and inappropriate...in any case, I love you and believe you will be ok and that you will find a decent place in MT. In regards to WW not being on the front burner...that goes against everything we are trying to do here...reprogram our responses to food whether there are good times or bad times in our life. I am trying really hard to not look as it as a diet and hope you are doing the same...so there is no front or back buner...there is just us going through life's ups and downs and trying to be ok.

I love you. Call whenever you need to talk...please let me know if you just need to vent or if you want advice - as sometimes I am not sure what to say when you are hurting or troubled and I want to be a help when you call.

Love mops

i am sad

Hi dear sister.
i am finding myself more sad as the night progresses; i have been online alot and just more confused than when i started. so tomorrow is a new day and i will begin my search. i love montana at this time, hope to find something nice enough in missoula now. thank you for loving me and being there.

i guess i must finish my shift.

weight watchers is not really at the forefront now. i love you. twiggy.

Happy Valentine's Day Twigs! Check out "New Soul"

Hey cutes, I found a song you need to go and buy yourself during this transition...love you!
click on below to watch, or cut and paste it to the browser!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YUxbDEPFiM

Hey Twiggy Babe, you will get through this!

Hey lady,

Been thinking about you all day. I read what you said about the river and maybe you will find some hope in looking at that again...perhaps your current place/house was meant to be something so great that it got you to move out of an unhealthy place and now somethign else is prompting another phase of your life...and although the river may be flowing swiftly right now and a little bit scary, maybe the next place you step in the river will be warmer, friendlier or even more serene and right for you...I know right now it just sucks...but the only way to get through the shit times is to look forward...and i love you very much. Let me know if there is anything I can do - and trust yourself...as you have proven many times in the past that you are very capable and good at taking care of yourself...just as you are with the food now and not over indulging on drink...keep your eyes clear and your heart warm, the rest will fall into place.
luv mops

work is good. how is tahoe?

Hi dear sis.
i am working not terribly hard this weekend. i hope you are happy and enjoying your long weekend in tahoe. and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. tell tim too.
i am off from sun-thur. and go to weight watchers on mon. i hope it is not too bad. i do want to continue. no new exciting recipes. but i may look on their site. i have a recipe book loaned to me from one of the nurses. maybe i will try something.

take care; happy eating. and i love you. twiggy

just a thought.

I like this:
Nothing endures but change; you could not step twice into the same river.....

sometimes it seems we look so to the end when things , thoughts are better. where it is not such an effort. but life keeps changing. new ripples in the current to provide a different appearance to what we thought we knew. and then we jump into the river again feeling the comfort of the water. so let's carry on and notice the changes in our bodies, our moods, and our engagement with this change we are making.

Have a lovely time in the snow. i will try eat within normal limits. a nursing term. i love you and love you for helping me on this path. miss twiggy. no, not miss piggy. miss twiggy.

hey twigs

Hope work is going well for you tonight. I go to my meeting tmro morn. The last week or two I have felt so good about the changes we're making, kind of the way you do when you buy a new shirt or pair of jeans and you're still excited to wear them...but now some of the luster is wearing off for me, which is dangerous ground. I am realizing how far I have to go and how long it will take to get to a place where I don't feel so big, so I am feeling discouarged on one hand...on the other I am trying to remind myself that this is a lifestyle change, not meant as a means to an end...but that even is too much to handle right now...which brings me back to trying to focus on one day at a time. I guess it took weeks and months and years to get here so the solution will not come overnight, nor will the journey back to full-on living be short...just glad you are on the road with me and that I am not alone. Love you, try and do well this weekend and I will try and do the same.

luv mops.

spinach salad

Hi ... it is midnight and i am having a spinach salad with tomato for my snack. does that just not sound like a weight watcher girl. for a moment anyway.

I am unsure as robyn needs to get back to me; but, it is not looking very good for the change of weekends. she will have to change completely 2 weeks on her schedule. and she is a single mom. i am still working on it . it is so hard on a tiny unit like this. but she will let me know soon i hope.

love you. twiggy.

a b, a b....yeah go.

Hi and congratulations..... a b is best. and well deserved. school can be such a challenge at times; but so rewarding too. what are you studying this semester???

OH DEAR FOOD. WHY DO WE LOVE YOU SO? YOU ARE SO ALLURING. DESIROUS. AND OH, SO GOOD. MEXICAN BURRITOS; SPANISH RICE; SALAD; APPLES; CELERY; SPINACH. oh, right. like i eat the latter. ok. so let's just be content with the small step we make up the mountain this week. and don't go up the mountain faster than i and leave me behind.

How beautiful are you now? did you cut 2 pounds of hair off??? i am going to have mine shaved before weigh in. and strip into my bra and panties. good luck; and good eating. love the twig.

I GOT THE GRADE!!!!

i AM SO EXCITED....remember the little ABC I told you about the other day at school and I was worried about getting a C, well I got the B I wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so back to food...I am hungry a lot...what's with that? I am eating 30-35 pts a day and still hungry. I was suppose to take a class this morn at the gym, but felt too tired and didn't go. I am already fretting about the scale this week as I figure there is no way I can be down since I was down 4.4 last week...funny how u can't seem to win w/ the scale...too dumb, eh?

Yes, pls come to our luxury FREE beach house in March, would love it! Let me know what you find out.

Inspiring quotes:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time."
- John Wanamaker

YOU ARE CLOSE

MOPS:
YOU ARE ALMOST TO THE 100'S ......YEAH. YOU CAN DO IT... LOVE TWIGGY

EAT THIS

NEW IDEA FOR YOUR ENGLISH MUFFIN:

SPREAD NUMMY PEANUT BUTTER; ADD GOOD RAW HONEY; THEN SPRINKLE WITH SUNFLOWER SEEDS. MMMMM. LOVE TWIGGY

UP AND RUNNING

Hi beautiful.
I am back and feeling strong. oh, and you are right. the hunger monster is at my heels now that i am feeling better. so, we shall see what the days bring. lets me see. i want us to get together as i think it is time to cement this bond. i will try hard for end march. and let you know what i find out with robyn. and me goal for this week is fruits and veggies; oh, and recording.
GOAL FOR FEBRUARY: WEAR MY CUTE OLD NAVY JEANS IN PUBLIC.
they are a little tight right now. but if i can't i cant. ok. i hope your day is good at work and eating. have you worked out today miss athlete??? tell me every move you made and every morsel you ate. leave out no details. hee. hee.

yeah, Sat. mtg went really well

Hey twigs,

Hope you are feelign better. I am so excited about my meeting on Sat. , for the 1st time in a long time I feel like it is possible to get to the 100's! It is still a ways off, but I am starting to get a touch of hope. We had a superbowl party yesterday and I splurged a bit on various chips, dips etc...but went to the gym in the morn before it started and did not stuff myself to the gills like in previous years. My goal fo rthis week is to make it to the gym 4x, increase my veggie consumption; and lose 1.5. I want to plan a get together soon, I think re-enforcing our new behaviors in person woudl be a really positive thing...I know funding is tough, but maybe we can work something out. Are you going to your meeting today? What is your goal for the week?

Also, since it is the start of a new month, what do we want to accomplish by the end of the month?

Luv mops,
hope you are feeling better soon!